Cruel Notes From Sharon

From: Sharon
Subject: Beach Boys Drummin'

I thought your cute little story was going to end with: ...Have I ever played the drums before in my life? No. But I did stay at a Holiday Inn on my last business trip!

Loved the drawerings, Simon. Sorry Allie had to suffer for your art.

I just thought of another baby name: Rowenta. Maybe Rowenta Wenta Wenta (reminiscent of Roseanna Danna Danna). Course I think it's going to be a boy and that would mean it would be Rowen! No middle name. That makes it classy.

----

From: Sharon
Subject: Dear Greg

Dear Greg,

With regards to your remarks in one of your postings stating that you are a closer...

I don't think you need the "c".

----

From: Sharon
Subject: The New Microwave

It is smarter than you. Any one who sneaks (not saunter, not traipse, not even rove mind you) down to stare at a microwave glow has got serious intelligence issues.

I bet it doesn't unplug itself and wander up to your room to watch you sleep. Unless of course you glow when you sleep. Then it just might stare at you. But only if it's a Rowenta microwave.

----

From: Sharon
Subject: RE: Where are you?

I think if we didn't talk for 5 years and then one of us contacted the other we could always pick right up where we left off. And since an email from me wouldn't be complete without a TV reference: I liken us to Will and Grace.

Except I'm much prettier than Grace.

And you're way more gay than Will.